We Attract Our Mirrors
If you are reading this then you likely know how agonising it feels to meet your twin flame and then have them run away from you and the connection.
Your twin flame has entered your life, turned your world upside down and made you feel such an intense and spiritual love which you never even knew was possible. Meeting your twin flame has caused you to suddenly feel AWAKE! Your old priorities have dissolved completely as they no longer seem important anymore. Your senses have heightened and you have never felt such a deep and intense love like this before. You feel that this person is "the one" and you know that this person loves you just as much as you love them and that they have never felt this way about anyone else other than you. So how can they run away from this? How can they just ditch you without seeming to care? How can they deny such profound love and beauty? Why have they become a twin flame runner?
To best describe the number one reason why twin flames run away from the ultimate love, here is an excerpt from my new ebook course "How to Unite with your Twin Flame".
"Why has your twin flame run away? You may think that this person just doesn't care about you, that maybe they don't love you as much as you love them after all and that it's unrequited love. Maybe you even think that this person hates you or thinks you aren't good enough for them. But I can tell you that all those doubts you have are not real. If this person truly is your twin flame, then the real reason they have run away from you is because of FEAR.
The opposite of love is not hate, but fear. I am going to help you out here by detailing the different fears your twin flame is likely going through which have caused him to run away. I will refer to your twin flame as a "he", but it can also equally apply to "she" twin flames. The following reasons will shed light and understanding on some of the thought processes and the subconscious fears that are causing your twin flame to run away from you and the connection. I am hoping these insights will provide you with some comfort in this difficult time of separation.
So lets get straight into it.
Fear no. 1: The fear of REJECTION
You may think your twin flame is running away from you, but really, he is running away from HIMSELF. He does not like or love some parts of himself deep down and he feels insecure that YOU will reject him eventually, just like he is rejecting himself. He is petrified of you rejecting him because he will take that as confirmation and proof of his own belief that he is not good enough. He knows that this connection is very deep - deep to the core of his being, his soul, and therefore he believes that this connection is a gift from God or the universe or whatever higher beliefs he may have. Even if he is not religious or spiritual, this awakening that happens when you meet suddenly makes him aware that there IS more to life than what meets the eye, that there is a whole universe out there that you both originate from, beyond the Earth. He may not CONSCIOUSLY realise this, but be assured that deep down he IS aware.
He is therefore so afraid of you rejecting him and "proving" his supposed unworthiness, because he would take that as a sign that the universe is PUNISHING him for not being good enough for the deepest of love possible which your connection represents. He is terrified that the universe will reject him in this way. Also, if your connection fails in any way, then he would take that as a sign of being punished by the universe as well. He would take it to mean that the universe was taking you and the love away from him because he doesn't deserve it.
Many twin flames that are running away from the connection have this belief that ultimately the love will be taken away from them. It is a reflection of their lack of self-esteem and self-love. Humans biggest fear is of not belonging, of not being accepted. Therefore, your twin flame is running away from JUDGEMENT - being judged as unworthy.
He reasons with himself that if he runs away from you, then you won't truly get to know him and his flaws, so even if you do reject him whilst he is running, he would know you rejected him not based on who he is (because he never let you get close enough to judge him on who he is). If you eventually walk away, he will know it's because of how he BEHAVED, not because of WHO HE IS. It feels safer for him to be rejected because he was cold and distant, which are actions rather than if he got close to you and then you didn't like who he is at the core - his soul, the real him.
Fear no. 2: Fear that it's a TRICK
Your twin flame is likely so convinced that the universe or god thinks he is unworthy of love and should therefore be punished, that he is suspicious that this connection is sent from God as a trick. He fears that god or whatever his belief may be, is testing him, or tempting him with this connection. Because he feels completely unworthy of such bliss and happiness, he is sure that it is a test to see if he is "selfish" or "naive" enough to reach for the twin flame love. The love is so intense and so deep and like nothing he has ever felt before, so he is petrified of reaching for it and then it being taken away from him. His is so fearful that he is being deluusional and that this love is not real, or that it is too good to be true. He is afraid of believing in something that potentially he thinks could be an illusion. He does not want to become dependent upon such blissful love if it is just going to be taken away or proved to be nothing but a fantasy.
Fear no. 3: The fear of being CONSUMED by you and the emotions
Your twin flame has been obsessing over you just as much as you have been over him. His life has been turned upside down and he feels such intense longing to be with you. So many overwhelming emotions are coming up, both amazing and painful, because the parts of himself he needs to heal are rising to the surface alongside the blissful love. He feels absolutely consumed by your love and your soul. But he hasn't been taught how to effectively process and handle these emotions that he has never even felt before. Such intense emotions are absolutely exhausting for him and therefore his only way to deal with them is to shut them off and that means shutting you off too.
He wants to get a grip of the emotions because he feels swallowed up by them and cannot concentrate in life at all. So he just tries to shut them off completely in order to try and refocus and find himself again because he is so lost in it all. But from time to time, he wants to feel the intensity again and that's when he comes back around. But then it gets too much again, so he goes back to being cold and distant.
He is petrified. Full of fear. He knows that you and this connection have such a hold on him. The rest of his life and his old priorities just don't feel important anymore. He feels his old life falling away and making way for this "bigger thing" with you and the universe. But he is so frightened that if your connection does not work out, then he would be left with nothing. He wonders how he could cope if this connection, which has completely taken ahold of him, was taken away. Then what? He knows that if he let himself go too far in allowing you to get close, then there would definately be no going back to a "normal life", but he feels, because of his lack of self-esteem, that it is inevitable that your love will be taken away from him.
He is trying to protect himself and go "back to normal" so that when you are taken away from him, he still has something left and can pretend to himself that it was nothing extraordinary with you anyway. He's not allowing himself to even taste a real life with you because he knows he won't be able to handle the pain of always feeling that loss if you are taken away from him. He is trying to protect himself and he is not allowing himself to love you too much because he feels he would not be able to cope with the loss of you and your love."
These are some of the fears that I talk about in the "fear" section of "How to Unite with your Twin flame". The guide also goes into great depth about many other aspects of the twin flame connection and what you need to do in order to work towards your unity.
If you are feeling stuck in your twin flame connection and want to know the reasons exactly why your twin flame has become a runner, what you can do about it and how to unite, then I really feel this guide will help you. I have received over 3,000 emails from other twin flames thanking me for such an honest and easy to read guide which has helped them to heal their twin flame relationships.
People Attract Their Mirrors. Twin Flames and Soul Mates are the perfect Mirrors and therefore the perfect way to get to know yourselves better. You're almost guaranteed to meet someone in your life whether it be a boss, co-worker, sibling, parent, love interest, enemy etc who is going to push all those emotional buttons within you, some you may not have even known were lurking there, and bring them up to the surface, with the intention of healing. This is what Twin Flames do too. The twin flame / soul mate connection may feel like torture, like the universe is against you, that you are powerless, but these hard times are occurring to strengthen you, through the twin flame mirror. Many will not realise this though and will resist the lessons of the twin flame union, either by running away, blaming the other twin flame / soul mate or holding onto fantasy "what ifs" to distract them from reality and taking responsibility for their own happiness.
Sometimes, we may blame our twin flame / soul mate for running away, but perhaps the Soul Contract already had this in store. Perhaps running is the way to get the proper distance so the twin flames can process things, to learn more about themselves, eventually. If we blame our twin flame / soul mate for running, then we are not understanding our own issues and are looking to the twin flame / soul mate to fill in the gaps within ourselves that we need to fill in ourselves. Your issues are probably the same issues the other twin flame / soul mate, mirrored back to you. That is why you were magnetically attracted to them in the first place. Because the familiarity with them, the shared essence which make you understand each other on a deep soul level.
Sometimes, as self-preservation, some twin flames / soul mates can live a little too much in their heads and create a wonderful world full of amazing opportunities in their little fantasy lands. This seems like a safe place to go to in a world where we feel our issues come up a bit too much and we don't want to deal with them. But sometimes, living too much in our heads rather than actually going out there and living our lives can be dangerous. Reality becomes distorted and the fantasy seems more and more appealing. We spend more time in our imaginations and miss out on real life, or start to think real life is not as good as "what we could have" that we convince ourselves is "just around the corner" with a twin flame or soul mate whom is emotionally or physically unavailable to us.
Am I against imagination and fantasies? No, I certainly am not. BUT there needs to be a healthy balance. Us "spiritual" people tend to feel that "intuition" is "better" (for want of a better word :-) ) than logic. But truth is, there needs to be both. Love is often NOT enough, even in twin flame connection, IF you are holding out for being with them in the physical. You can love your twin flame / soul mate so much, feel a great connection, feel like you click energetically and more, but if everything else is not there, if they never talk to you, hold you at arms length, give you promises that they can never fulfil, act hot one minute, then cold the next, then love is not enough, if you are holding onto the idea of being with them and you have a ton of expectations attached to them. Love is only enough if you CHOOSE for it to be enough but stop holding out for more.
Why does this twin flame / soul mate connection hurt so bad? Could it be because you are taking this very personally, you are using this unavailable twin flame / soul mate to try and validate yourself because deep down you aren't accepting yourself? Are you taking your twin flame's / soul mate's inability or lack of want to be with you as "proof" that you are unlovable just like you thought? Why are you choosing people and situations that mirror back to you your own view of yourself? I believe it's because you agreed this would keep happening to you until you learn to stop looking outwards for the validation you must now give to yourself.
I am a great analyser. Overly so, so many times. I also have a great imagination. Put this together with an urge to help others, which so many of you want to do, and you may have a martyr in the making, as in giving too much, possibly to avoid helping self! Again, balance is needed. Helping others is a good thing, as long as you are helping yourself too, whether this is your twin flame or soul mate.
Is there a part of you that wants to sacrifice yourself to help your twin flame/ soul mate because you are subconsciously projecting your own issues onto them? Are you helping them because it's easier to help another than to deal with your own issues? Are you loving your twin flame / soul mate in the way you want to be loved yourself, are you loving your twin flame / soul mate in the way you NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF? Are you giving more and more because secretly you feel you have to "earn" your twin flame's approval? Are you being a relationship "chameleon", trying to change yourself to suit this soul connection, chopping and changing the portrayal of "you" many times because you feel the real you is not good enough? Why are you hiding the real you so much? What is so bad about the real you? Could that not be the most beautiful part of you, the real part. It is your true self that this twin flame / soul mate connection is bringing out to the surface. It feels so painful because the old ego you is being stripped away and the ego does not like this and creates a lot of fear.
Many will run because the twin soul / soul mate / karmic soul connection / twin flame etc is bringing forth the REAL person within, exposing the real self, the parts within that a person is so desperate to hide from the world, from themselves. These are a person's core issues. Your twin flame / soul mate is going to be freaked out by you because you can see through the masks they wear. But again, it's easier for us to point the finger at them when we are living behind our own masks, running too from letting someone get close to us, running from the twin flame connection. And yes, we are running when we choose to run at someone who is running away from us! It means we don't have to get close, be vulnerable. Also, many of us run away from a person who can offer us a connection on all levels, emotional, mental, physical, soul etc. We can pretend to ourselves that the fantasy "what ifs" with the runner twin flame / soul mate are "better" than reality with someone else, but really, the universe is working to fuel the twin flame / soul mate connection with so much energy to force you to deal with your issues. If the energy was flat or non-existent, you would not be motivated to try and work at it or force it, and then eventually (we hope) see your own issues when it all comes crashing down.
I have seen so many have utter hatred for their supposed twin soul runner / twin flame runner. They are not realising that they are running from their own problems by placing the blame upon this other person who is running away from them. Who is going to love you and want to be with you if you are placing the responsibility of your sense of self-esteem, happiness, wholeness on them? Would you want someone to put all that pressure on you? To be pulling you in, demanding you make them happy, fill in all your voids? It is not even love if you are demanding such things from them.
Many twin flames use the excuse that this is such a profound connection that they can do ANYTHING they want because they mistakenly believe "it will all work out eventually anyway". They use this as an excuse to chase, stalk, act badly, let out all their frustration and blame, abuse etc because they mistakenly believe they somehow own this soul as they mistakenly believe it is the other "half" of their own soul. Twin flames are not halves, but wholes from the same Soul Family, come together to reflect each other's identical energies (that can be shared with more than just one other soul). You are not accepting them for who they are and they know it! They know you are just wanting them to turn around and commit to you so you can feel better about yourself in some way.
Why would your twin flame / soul mate want to get close to you and be vulnerable with you when they know you aren't even accepting the real them, accepting they are human with issues? Why would they let you in when they know you are wanting them to want you just so you feel validated? Why would your twin flame / soul mate want to feel trapped with someone who is trying to suck the life out of them to fill in their own voids? Does that seem appealing? Wouldn't you run for the hills too? Wouldn't you become a twin flame runner in that situation? If not, then maybe you should!
Maybe you felt your twin flame / soul mate understood you like no other on a deep level. Perhaps you should allow your own "deep level" of who you really are come out a bit more all the time, around everyone, then you won't need to feel you have to rely on this one person to feel understood. We all have MANY soul connections, be we often cut them off or don't even notice because we don't give them a chance when we are too caught up obsessing over our twin flame / soul mate and placing the entire spiritual emphasis on this one soul. No ONE soul can give you everything. And NO soul can give you everything, especially if you are not giving everything to yourself!
Maybe you and your twin flame / soul mate just feel exhausted in life, or that the happiness has drained out of it. A strong soul connection / twin flame is often filled with empowering, intense, happy, liberating feelings as the soul recognises the other from a different place, spirit world, happy past lives together etc. It's natural to want to hold onto that, but if it is creating unhealthy attachment, codependency, taking you away from living your life etc, then it's time to release your expectations and see this as the lesson it was meant to be. See it as a blessing. Know that your souls always know each other, you agreed for this to happen, you will make other agreements in the future. But learn from it, go live your life. Don't chain yourself to the supposed happy "what ifs" that in reality are making you miserable and don't use twin flame theories as an excuse to chain yourself to unhealthy situations to avoid your own healing and remain in "victim" mode. This is not your truth. Your goal is to set yourself free through love, not trap yourself.
For an even deeper look into the twin flame connection and how to Truly Unite with your Twin Flame, my online course offers the real steps needed to make this happen.